Like most kids, I always wanted to be a cop. I had all the action figures from the SWAT TV program and the SWAT van. Fast forward to my teen years.
My karate sensei Jim Richardson, founder of the Tai Crane Karate Studio-Whittier, inspired me to join the Explorer program but that came with a warning. He said that "not all cops are like the officers you have encountered". Be ready to face some challenges, he said.
Jim taught a great deal of law enforcement personnel and studying side by side with officers and later teaching them was further inspiring. A great deal of my karate class mates (officers) would say "you should join the explorer program, you have what it takes to be a good cop". So, at the age of sixteen and after earning my black belt at fifteen I signed up for the Whittier Police Department Explorer Program. I was so proud of myself and also very nervous.
Years before that, my experience was that being a "Mexican" automatically made me a target by Whittier PD (WPD). Walking home from karate six nights a week almost always included an encounter with WPD slow rolling next to me with search lights on me asking me what I'm doing. I didn't always take offense since i was just walking home from teaching karate. On occasion they would pull me over hold me at gun point while an officer went through my pockets and backpack with my karate gi. They would even say, "we know you sell drugs, where are the drugs?"
Growing up in a home with domestic violence where my mother was beaten we
called WPD regularly. Most often they were annoyed by the call and often told us they were tired of coming. WPD were not our friends nor protectors. All the while, I had great law enforcement officers as role models.
After graduation from the Sheriffs Explorer's Academy as a WPD Explorer i started my department assignment. I was very excited, proud. My family didn't know what to think of my endeavor. They were not supportive but I've done things on my own anyways and always encouraged myself.
Wow, did i look sharp in that dark navy blue uniform. No picture exist. There were no cell phone cameras back then and pictures required resources I didn't have. Lining up for roll call with my chest out, thumbs along my sides and looking stone face forward. "Mendez?" here sir!
"Wipe that smile off your face! The sergeant said. Oh, shit what did i do wrong, i asked myself. "Why are you smiling, Mendez!" I'm happy sir, happy to be here, i said. "You are not allowed to be happy here. You are not allowed to smile!" said the sergeant. OK, note taken. Damn was that hard. I would have to go to the bathroom to smile because I was so happy. Next time, i was caught smiling again and the wrath came from most police officers. "Who do you think you are!? Stupid me I answered. I'm Gary Mendez. "I don't give a shit who you are, your one degree from being behind those bars, Mendez!" My explorer colleagues joined in when we were alone. "If you wanna be a cop, you better knock that smile shit off, Mendez", they said. I thought about that for days. I asked myself constantly, why am I a happy person? The response was always the same, I smile because I feel good about myself, who I am and who I'm becoming. Do I need to change who I am?
Then came other issues that made me very uncomfortable. There was always talk about "wetbacks, ese's, N-word, and beaners". On a memorable occasion, three officers were hanging around talking about keeping the "beaners" and "N-word" from coming over the bridge on Whittier blvd from Pico Rivera. "We got to keep them out". Was I the beaner? I've been called a beaner and wetback in Whittier and not long ago. The one and only Latino officer in that group would smile and laugh and look at me. He later told me aside, "go along to get along if you wanna be a cop". There was constant hate spewing from these people. They hated every ethnic minority and expressed it.
I just could not change who I am and fill myself with hate. I refuse, I told myself.
After less than a month, I never went back. I never wanted to be like them.
I never told anyone. I was too ashamed. No one ever asked, anyway.
Dream destroyed.
p.s. I joined civil rights groups soon after: The American GI Forum, LULAC, MAPA and Amnesty International.
https://youtu.be/2RJEZCGSZqE
